


Each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man doesn't die...

by HurricanesAndRainbows (QueenMangue)



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Established Relationship, I suck at tagging, M/M, Mild Smut, Rationalization, Self-blaming, Toxic Relationship, abuse justification, abusive behaviour, minimisation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 04:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18403073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenMangue/pseuds/HurricanesAndRainbows
Summary: He hadn't meant for it to end this way, he hadn't meant for it to end at all. He had not meant to lose the only thing which made him believe that he could ever fall in love, but, he just lost control, or so he'd like to think. The alternative was quite troublesome to think of at this moment. Maybe, if he hadn’t spoken out those hurtful words, hadn’t acted the way he did, Yoongi’s eyes would still be open and looking at him with his usual love-filled gaze.





	Each man kills the thing he loves, yet each man doesn't die...

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Oscar Wilde's- The Ballad of Reading Gaol, and this whole thing was also, kind of, loosely inspired by it?  
> Also, i edited it to the best of my abilities (not really xD) but there are bound to be some errors, grammatical or otherwise, scattered here and there so, do ignore them. Pretty please? UwU  
> I hope at least someone out there likes it :3  
> Enjoy!

_Yet each man kills the thing he loves_

_By each let this be heard,_

_Some do it with a bitter look,_

_Some with a flattering word,_

_The coward does it with a kiss,_

_The brave man with a sword!_

_Some kill their love when they are young,_

_And some when they are old;_

_Some strangle with the hands of Lust,_

_Some with the hands of Gold:_

_The kindest use a knife, because_

_The dead so soon grow cold._

_Some love too little, some too long,_

_Some sell, and others buy;_

_Some do the deed with many tears,_

_And some without a sigh:_

_For each man kills the thing he loves,_

_Yet each man does not die._ – The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde

The bed squelched with the heavy wetness of blood as Hoseok turned to his side to face the open window, his palm resting between the wet space of his and his partner's pillow. Hoseok loved the moon, loved how it shined so bright with a light which was borrowed, and how that light currently sifted through his window and illuminated the darkness of his bedroom-their bedroom. His partner was lying peacefully beside him, it was perhaps the most peaceful Hoseok had seen him in a long, long while.

The thing about moonlight is, that it is calmer, more subtle in its insinuations, where the sun is bright and upfront, the moon is more shy and timid in its implications. Where the sun would have glared at the crimson splatter of warm liquid decorating his bed and his walls, the moon quietly veiled the macabre art, making it seem like a mellow and gentle spill of colour which was far away from the reality birthed from the consequence of their mindless actions. Blood looks so dark in the scrutiny of the moon that if he allows himself to do so, he can close his eyes right now and think of it all as a mere dream. A dream where blood is substituted by tar, probably acting as a symbolic nudge to his consciousness about his repressed fears or desires, which in his mind's eye were no different from the other; and when he would wake up, he would be greeted by the glaring light pouring through his window, illuminating the whiteness of his walls. But as it goes, reality is far from being as fickle as to allow the reversion of actions, it is quite stubborn in its permanence, and more so in the cases which involve the shedding of a loved one’s blood.

He hadn't meant for it to end this way, he hadn't meant for it to end at all, he had not meant to lose the only thing which made him believe that he could ever fall in love, but, he just lost control, or so he'd like to think. The alternative was quite troublesome to think of, at this moment. Maybe, if he hadn’t spoken out those hurtful words, hadn’t acted the way he did, Yoongi’s eyes would still be open and looking at him with his usual love-filled gaze.

He wishes he could see Yoongi's eyes one last time before the final goodbye, but it almost seems like even a worse sin than murder, to disturb his partner's deep slumber right now. He has always wanted Yoongi to be well-rested and healthy, always persistent in his nagging for him to take care of himself, so, to see him sleep so peacefully, without a crease on his forehead is almost worth abandoning the aspect of saying his last goodbyes. His raven hair falling into his eyes, and lips tinted brighter with the smear of thick crimson across his face, made him seem like an ethereal being, shining bright in the silver of the moonlight.

If Hoseok looks back, it had started as a beautiful day. Yoongi had woken him up with a trail of soft kisses tracing a sweet map all over his naked body. He had gently taken him in his mouth and sucked and swallowed till his whole body was shuddering with ecstasy and delight, till the only thing coming out of his mouth were, soft, pleasured moans and a litany of Yoongi's name. Hoseok of course had returned the favour with even more fervour and passion, he always made sure to be gentle with his Yoongi, but sometimes, just sometimes he would let go of his inhibitions and succumb to the feeling of being with the person he loved with all of his heart and soul. He had gently pulled Yoongi's legs apart and took his time just soaking in the sight before him. His partner was a beautiful man. So beautiful that, if he wanted to, he could easily ensue chaos in the hearts of all men and women alike. His pale skin was almost a reflective surface for the pool of sunlight dancing upon his skin, his raven hair a stark contrast to his paleness, and his dark eyes brimming with lust and excitement, all of which made the whole situation feel more like a hauntingly vivid yet an extremely elusive dream. Hoseok prepared his partner's body with the familiar practice of a person who had done this many a times before, each stroke of his hand on his cock and each push of his finger inside Yoongi's hole guided by the burning intent of making him groan and writhe with pleasure.

Yoongi had his legs tightly wrapped around his waist and by the time Hoseok pushed inside a third finger, he was already writhing with impatience and neediness, gasping whenever the younger angled his fingers so as to brush at his prostrate. Hoseok was quick in silencing Yoongi's needy moans with kisses. Each time he’d open his mouth to release a moan or a gasp, Hoseok would kiss him harder than before and his hand resting above his head would pull at his hair, tilting his face upwards, allowing Hoseok to kiss and bite at the exposed skin of the soft expanse of his throat. Hoseok pulled out his fingers with a squelchy pop, but didn't push himself up from where he was almost lying chest to chest, on top of Yoongi. Instead, he kept on nibbling and kissing at his neck, licking down a trail to his chest, which was still heaving from the abruptly ceased stimulation. His tongue circled his nipple and sucked at it, pulling it gently between his teeth and biting down just hard enough for Yoongi to elicit a desperate moan and instinctively tighten his hold on Hoseok's biceps, which were pulling his weight at either side of the elder’s torso. Hoseok's tongue traced its way back to his spit slicked lips and pushed its way inside his mouth, exploring each and every crevice like it was the first time, never tiring of how it tasted, not even after all this time. Soon, he had pushed himself off of Yoongi to coat his cock with decent amount of lube, which he did in a span of mere seconds before the feelings of impatience and desire overtook all control of his body and he re-positioned himself behind Yoongi's ass, sharply pulling his legs towards him so that his body shifted downwards, placing his ass flush against his throbbing cock. Hoseok bent down to kiss him again, and slowly guided his pulsing member inside Yoongi's hole, who let out a filthy moan at the feeling of being filled by his lover. The slow rocking of their bodies quickly turned into something feral, with Hoseok increasing his pace and slamming harder and harder into Yoongi and the latter responding by meeting Hoseok's thrusts half way through and pushing himself deeper against his cock. Guttural moans and stink of sex engulfed the room, and Hoseok, who had pushed himself up from leaning against Yoongi's chest, was still thrusting at an unforgivable pace, angling his partner's legs higher to rightly grind against his prostrate and at the same time stroke his throbbing cock which was now slick with precum. Yoongi begged for him to make him come faster, begged for Hoseok to come inside him, begged and begged and begged while angling his hips higher and sinfully gyrating against his lover who was now a panting and grunting mess; who, quickly lost control and gripped Yoongi's hips tighter against him and thrusted harder and deeper into him, his cock hitting his prostrate one last time before Yoongi came with a cry, body shuddering with hits of pleasure and his hole instinctively tightening around Hoseok's cock, who lost his last semblance of control and fell on top of the elder, mouth wet and hot against his neck, and came inside him with a breathy, guttural moan, body shuddering and gently rocking against his lover's body till even the subtlest hits of pleasure subsided and they both were reduced to just a messy pile of tangled limbs. Hoseok had licked the stripe of come smeared on Yoongi's chin, licked the come splattered on his chest and stomach and traced his tongue down to the elder’s, now red and sore, opening which was leaking out Hoseok's own seed. They had stayed in bed for what seemed like hours, lazily kissing and breathing in each other’s scents as if they knew that it would be their last morning together, that it would be the last time Hoseok would look at his lover's half lidded eyes looking at him as if he was the sole hanging star in the dark sky.

They had stayed in bed for what seemed like hours until they both fell apart, piece by piece, crumbling under the weight of all that was unspoken between them. The kisses that were sweet before, left a sour aftertaste in their mouths. It was as if they had hoped to drown each other’s' unspoken words with hard, urgent kisses, knowing, what they would imply, knowing, that they would shatter their delicately fabricated reality as soon as they would be uttered out loud for them to hear.

 Hoseok had always known he could love no one else apart from Yoongi and Yoongi had always known Hoseok would only be his. They had known this in the way they had known that their love had turned into something akin to fire- consuming everything till there was nothing left but ashes; that it had become like the stormy sea which collected shattered bones and broken boats before the calming of the all-devouring tempest. They knew it with unspoken certainty that for their love to survive, they, themselves, had to turn into ashes. It was with an unspoken certainty when Yoongi would come home drunk and accuse Hoseok of cheating on him, it was moments of unspoken clarity when Hoseok would scream and yell at him to stop smothering him, and it was their unspoken knowledge of the fact that they were nurturing a broken, ruined, little thing, that, in the end, made it all fall apart. All the unspoken words slowly filled up inside of them and exploded with the force of a thousand colliding stars.

It had started with an argument, when Hoseok caught Yoongi secretly going through his phone as he came out of the shower, it had escalated to the both of them screaming at each other at the top of their lungs, and it had ended with blood stained hands and tear streaked faces embracing each other, for what would be the last time.

Yoongi had always been insecure of his relationship with Hoseok. He could never fathom why someone like him, who was a literal sun in this world full of stormy clouds, always so fucking bright and happy, would ever be with someone like Yoongi- a socially awkward and withdrawn cynic who only knew how to spit out his misery and anger into cold mics and soulless eyes. Hoseok would always scoff at him and place a soft peck on his lips whenever Yoongi would wonder about it out loud, he’d always tell him how if Yoongi thought him to be the Sun, then Hoseok thought Yoongi to be the moon- a bright, shining moon who gave all his light to guide those lost in the dark of silent, eerie nights.

“But the moon would not even have its own light if the sun weren’t there”, Yoongi would mumble with a small pout forming on his lips, making Hoseok break out in a fit of giggles. “well, it’s a good thing I am never going to leave my moon alone, then, isn’t it?” Hoseok would reply and beam at him with the bright intensity of a neutron star. And Yoongi would believe him.

They fought and they accused each other of things they knew they weren’t guilty of. Maybe, all the unspoken insecurities and feelings had eaten away a large part of them, leaving their relationship hollow and weak from the inside. Hoseok had wanted to run away, run so far away that no one could trace his presence and he could finally get to breathe again. But Yoongi, he could never bear to lose his only sunshine, he could never let him run off into the wild where animals often lie awake in wait of an innocent prey to come along their way. Yoongi wanted to protect Hoseok, he knew the outside world, knew it like the structure of his childhood home. He grew up on the streets, saw what kind of people lay in wait to take advantage of innocent men like Hoseok- who didn’t think twice before trusting complete strangers.

“I only want to protect you, Hoseokie, don’t you get it?” Yoongi screamed at a crying Hoseok who flinched at the tone of his voice. Hoseok didn’t know when he started feeling so caged and trapped inside his own home, he didnt know when he started despising Yoongi’s ‘protectiveness’ so much, which, earlier, used to make him feel so, so safe. All he knew, at that moment, was that he wanted to run far away, just for a while, just so he could clear his thoughts about their relationship.

He loved Yoongi, he would go as far as to say that he’d probably, no, _really_ , die if something were to ever happen to him, or if he ever decided to, one day, walk out of his life. But he could also see their relationship turn ugly and rotten right before his eyes, he could feel it crumbling day by day and he wanted to save it so damn bad. And, to save it, to save them, to protect the love they have for each other, he needed to have some space to think, he needed to be alone and he needed to rid his mind of all the negativity that has piled up surrounding their relationship. He needed to do this and he needed for Yoongi to understand that, but he couldn’t bring himself to explain it to him, his anger getting the better of him. All he could think of, at the moment, was about hurting Yoongi the same way Yoongi had hurt him so many times before- by doubting his faithfulness, by insulting his feelings, by vilifying his decisions and by mocking his love for him.

“Maybe I don’t need your protection, Yoongi. Have you ever thought about that?” Hoseok seethed, “Have you ever thought, that maybe my life doesn’t revolve around you or what you think is right for me? I am an ADULT, Yoongi, I know how to make my own damn decisions and if you don’t agree with them, then you are free to leave. I don’t think we’re working out anymore, anyways, so… it wouldn’t be a big deal if you do walk out” Hoseok breathlessly yelled back at him, only slightly muttering the last part while angrily wiping at the tears streaming down his face. He didn’t mean to say it, he didn’t _want_ to say it, but he felt consumed by all the anger filled thoughts plaguing his brain. He wanted Yoongi to feel what Hoseok had felt so many times before, he wanted him to realize how words can hurt someone so much.

“Hoseok-ah, Hoseok, tell me you didn’t mean that”, Yoongi rasped, clearly taken aback by what Hoseok had implied. They had fought many times before, yelled at each other till both of their throats would be sore and hurting, but never, not even once, did they mention ending their relationship, never once did they even hint about a scenario where they wouldn’t be together “Please, baby, tell me you didn’t mean all that… You won’t leave me, will you? You can’t leave me…You can’t…You promised me you won’t ever leave me!” his voice rose a few octaves in a desperate cry. He picked up a vase, sitting atop their windowsill, and smashed it against the wall behind Hoseok, making the latter jump in shock. “TELL ME!”, Yoongi screamed and walked towards his partner, his soulmate, and grabbed him tight to pull him into a desperate embrace. He was shaking. Was it because of the hurt laced sobs or because of the intensity with which Yoongi was clinging on to him, Hoseok would never know. He would never know because right then, he did something he would never even have a proper chance to regret. He pushed Yoongi away. He pushed him away and said something which he regretted even as the words were coming out of his mouth, “I wish I never met you, Min Yoongi. And I wish I never loved you.” He said with the solemnity of someone trying to convince his own-self of the words coming out of his mouth, warm tears flowing down his face in streams.

He barely saw the look that crossed Yoongi’s face, didn’t want to see it because he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it, and turned to walk out of the door, walk out before he says something else he doesn’t mean and hurt them both even more. But before he could open the door, before he could even turn the knob, his body was slammed hard against the wall and what greeted his eyes was probably the biggest mistake of his life. Yoongi looked livid. He looked livid and broken at the same time and Hoseok was, suddenly, so scared. He was scared that he broke something inside of Yoongi, something beautiful that he had protected all his life until Hoseok came along and broke it so carelessly, that he went too far in his anger and hurt him beyond repair. He wasn’t scared _of_ Yoongi as much as he was scared _for_ him. He made to touch Yoongi’s cheek, to tell him he didn’t mean it, but before his hand could touch his face, he felt a sharp stab in his abdomen. At first, he couldn’t comprehend what was happening, couldn’t figure out why his clothes suddenly bled dark red, couldn’t realise why Yoongi suddenly gasped and stepped away from him…. Why was Yoongi moving away from him? Hoseok wondered. He wanted to apologise to him, wanted to caress his cheeks and wipe away his tears, and tell him how sorry he was. He wanted to tell him that he didn’t mean to say any of the things that had come out of his mouth, that he loved him more than anything in this world and how he could never, not even for a second, regret loving his beautiful soul. But all he could do, all he was able to do-right at that moment- was stare at his partner confusedly. It wasn’t till his legs gave out and he fell into Yoongi’s arms, who’d ran to him to prevent him from falling to the ground, that he realized what had happened.

There was a long shard of glass poking out from his abdomen, and there was a pattern on the glass that Hoseok could barely recognize from beneath the thick sheen of blood. He remembers Yoongi gifting him a beautiful vase when they had been but a few months into their relationship. He recalls him saying, that the vase’s intricate, celestial pattern reminding him of Hoseok was the reason he had bought it for him, and that it wasn’t a big deal. Later, he had blushed profusely, when he’d seen Hoseok looking at the brightly painted Sun and Moon and smile knowingly, understanding what Yoongi had meant by giving it to him but was too shy to say out loud. He smiles at the memory and tries not think of how having the shard with the painted moon, imbedded in his stomach seemed like some kind of a cosmic joke that the Universe had played on him.

“Ho-Hoseok?” Yoongi’s voice trembled with disbelief and fear “O-oh My God Hoseok-ah, I..I..Shit! I..oh my god.. Hoseok I’m s-so sorry..i d-didn’t mea- oh- oh my god …O-oh g-god!” Looking at him, Hoseok had never thought that even while dying, the thing he would most be afraid of would be leaving Yoongi behind like this-so, so broken “..I don’t know what happened..I -I don’t kno- “ Yoongi was rocking back and forth, cradling Hoseok’s body in his arms, his face screwed up in the most heart-breaking manner and instead of words, all that would come out of his mouth were gut-wrenching sobs and broken hiccups. “I’m s-so sorry…I-I just di-didn’t want you to l-leave Hoseok-ah p-please don’t leave m-me. Please d-don’t leave m-me. I-I love you s-so, so much, I love you s-so much Hoseok-ah…I- “

If Hoseok were to think of the worst memory of his whole life, then he would think of the time when Yoongi had come out to his family members and they had said to him, straight to his face, that if he wanted to be a part of their family, if he wanted to be called his parents’ son, then he would never speak of such things again, would leave his boyfriend and forget about the sinful lifestyle that he had, ‘so suddenly’, adopted. Back then, Yoongi had all but spat at their faces and basically flipped them all off, but as soon as he had returned home, their home, he had broken down. Hoseok had never seen Yoongi as broken as he did back then, he had never seen him so-so completely shattered and he had vowed to himself, then and there, that as long as he was alive, he wouldn’t let anyone make his boyfriend feel like that again. Now here they were, almost 10-years later, with Hoseok dying in Yoongi’s arms because of the wounds inflicted by his beautiful, delicate hands, and with the both of them having failed to live up to their promises.

 Objectively, Hoseok thinks, he should be feeling wounded and even betrayed. He should be feeling angry at this man, whom he loved and trusted more than anything else in the world; who, whenever Hoseok would fall sick, would stay by his side for days, not leaving him alone for a moment; who, hadn’t talked to his family for a decade because they had wanted him to leave Hoseok and, who, loved him with the fiery intensity of the brightest sun- burning everything that came in its way.

Maybe, over the years, Yoongi had slowly succumbed to his insecurities, maybe, he had let his darkest thoughts fester and consume him till there was nothing but a tiny flame keeping him warm, and yes, he had let it all out in the form of venomous words and baseless accusations but Hoseok knew the truth- he knew how Yoongi was always so terrified. Terrified of the world which only took and took and leeched everything from him and never gave anything in return, terrified of the love he felt and thought he didn’t deserve, terrified of the ceaseless ticking of the clock which, with each ticking sound, was turning everything he had into dust. Hoseok knew how Yoongi was always so terrified. So perhaps, objectively, he should be feeling angry at him and he should be feeling betrayed, but if there was one thing Hoseok knew about himself, one thing, which remained persistent about him throughout all the phases of his life, then it was- that he never does what he is supposed to do, finding comfort in rebelling against the expectations of what he should be doing. So, no, he didn’t feel angry and he didn’t feel betrayed. All he felt, with each painful intake of his breath and fading rhythm of his heartbeat, was how, no matter what, he would always love Yoongi. Even now, even as he is probably dying, all he cared about was Yoongi- about how he will cope from this, even when countless sunrises and sunsets will turn this into nothing but a sad reminder of the tragic consequences of two human beings’ unspoken misery.

“Y-yoongi- “Hoseok breathed out his name and winced at the sharp pain resulting from the effort of trying to speak. Yoongi whimpered at his name being called like that “H-hyung, listen to me. I l-love you. I love y-you s-so much and I forgive you. I-It’s okay, hey look at me- “ Hoseok smiled, stretched his hand to touch Yoongi’s face and winced with pain, making the elder startle with fear. Yoongi took his hand in his, bending further to kiss his bloodstained palms, and intertwined their fingers, making their joined hands seem like a fully bloomed, crimson rose “Hyung, can you d-do something for me? R-right now?” Hoseok shakily breathed out, clutching tighter at Yoongi’s hand “A-anything, Hoseok-ah”, came a meek, trembling reply “Can you h-hold me? On our b-bed? C-can you sleep beside me, hyung? One last time?” and maybe there were better things to say and better things to ask, but Hoseok didn’t care. He was dying- he knew it in the way his vision was slowly blurring and his breaths were becoming more labored. He was dying and he wanted to die peacefully, wrapped in the comfort of a warm embrace and with the person who had so quickly become his whole world.

Yoongi wordlessly collected him in his arms, his grip tightening ever-so-slightly in fear and protection. He slowly placed Hoseok on his side of the bed and, with the same hollowness, lay down beside him, letting out a broken sob. Their hands were still intertwined, eyes not leaving each other’s’, not even for a second, and, yet, still so many words were left unspoken.

 It was almost funny, in the most morbid sense, how the beginning of their beautiful morning had culminated to- what is going to be talked about, by others, as the- darkest night of their lives.

Hoseok could feel his body going cold, could feel his breaths getting shallower with each labored inhale and could feel his eyes closing, but there was still something he needed to do before his body fell into its deep slumber. He still needed to protect his lover, he needed to comfort him so that, after he’s gone, he doesn’t fall down in his endless hole of misery and despair, because this time, Hoseok won’t be there to pull him out.

“Yoongi-ah, promise me s-something, w-will you?” Hoseok mustered as much strength as he could and whispered, “don’t blame yourself for this… I-I don’t blame you for anything.” He smiled then, “I want you to be h-happy, Hyung, I want you to live the rest of your life happily a-and maybe even f-find love again. So, promise me. P-promise me that you will smile. And I’ll promise to n-never leave your side…. Y-your sun will always be there with you, hyung, you’ll never be alone. I p-promise” with that, his grip on Yoongi’s hand slackened. He could feel Yoongi’s hands on his face, could feel the soft vibrations of his voice but he couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t do anything but wait for the last vestiges of his consciousness to completely fade away. The last thing he felt before slipping away to some other world was warmth on his hands where Yoongi was holding him. A strange, unholy warmth.

                                                                                                                    

* * *

 

 

Hoseok was still looking out the open window, still marvelling at how the moon was so particularly bright this night, its light bright enough to rival the sun’s but still so gentle and pleasing to a spectator’s eye. He would still look at his partner sleeping soundly beside him, unmoving. Look at his hand intertwined with his equally unmoving one, covered with thick crimson- some of which was belonging to Hoseok and some of it to Yoongi. There was a wide, gaping gash decorating his lover’s delicate wrist, it was still seeping out warm liquid and Hoseok could still do nothing but look at it. His body was useless now, it was nothing but an empty vessel. He didn’t even know why he was able to experience all of this when his body was reduced to nothing but a waste of space in this world. Maybe this is what happens when you die? Maybe, your consciousness lives longer than your body as a separate entity, allowing your soul to say goodbye to those you love. Maybe he is this way just so he could fulfil his last promise to Yoongi? But something was telling him that the time to say his final goodbye was near, now if only, Yoongi would open his beautiful, dark eyes- if only he would do so just to say goodbye and nothing else. He caressed his partner’s beautiful, sleeping face, hoping that wherever he goes, he gets to remember this. Nothing else but this. Maybe someday, when the time comes, Yoongi would join him too, join him wherever it is where lost souls go after departing from their even more lost bodies. And Hoseok hopes that day to be far into the future, hopes for someone to save this beautiful, lost boy from the wounds he inflicted upon himself, hopes them to love him and nurture him back to how he used to be before he let darkness eat away at his heart.

Hoseok will always love his moon, he’ll love him in the way he always did- with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. Wherever he goes, he’ll try to burn a little longer, shine a little brighter, just so his light could reach his moon and illuminate the dark clouds surrounding him. But for now, he has to say goodbye. He places his lips on Yoongi’s for the last time, strokes his hair and takes in the sight of his beautiful face and divine body, before slowly fading into the welcoming embrace of everlasting darkness.

                                                                                                               

* * *

  

 

_In Reading gaol by Reading town_

_There is a pit of shame,_

_And in it lies a wretched man_

_Eaten by teeth of flame,_

_In burning winding-sheet he lies,_

_And his grave has got no name._

_And there, till Christ call forth the dead,_

_In silence let him lie:_

_No need to waste the foolish tear,_

_Or heave the windy sigh:_

_The man had killed the thing he loved,_

_And so he had to die._

_And all men kill the thing they love,_

_By all let this be heard,_

_Some do it with a bitter look,_

_Some with a flattering word,_

_The coward does it with a kiss,_

_The brave man with a sword!_ – The Ballad of Reading Gaol, Oscar Wilde

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, thanks for reading!!  
> I just want to put it out there that what Yoonseok had was a very toxic and problematic relationship in this, and Hoseok's thoughts during the whole ordeal were a product of it. Excusing and rationalizing abusive behavior is never okay.  
> Also, i really want to write a second part to this in Yoongi's POV, but i'm not sure if i should? Anyways, again, thank you so, so much for reading!


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